Another crazy Christmas-y week! I think a quote from one of the AP's sums it up pretty well. Our investigator 문서현 is progressing very well. She's accepted everything! The law of chastity, word of wisdom, tithing, fasting -- all the things that are roadblocks for a lot of people. She did relapse once and drink coffee though, so we texted Elder Miller about what protocol is for that -- if her baptism would be delayed or what. His reply was 'there's no rule really, if they have a broken heart, they're good'. It was such an interesting way to phrase it. A broken heart and a contrite spirit. Nothing more, nothing less, because in those two gifts is encompassed anything we could ever give of ourselves. If we have a broken heart, we're good.
I've been thinking a lot about why the Lord requires a broken heart. In the words of a returned missionary, we are the only church that believes in a God that mourns with us. I don't think God likes seeing us sad. In my head it makes sense I guess -- He gives us hard things so that we can grow, and learn how to be happy. All the stuff I learned in Primary but hasn't sunk into my heart until my mission. The same as any other person, I have been sad and mourned. It was on my mission that I think I really saw and experienced broken hearts. Why would God require that of anyone?
For one, it forced me to realize that I truly do need him every hour. Every breath, every step -- if He is not there I just fall. With this investigator I've realized of how little importance I am in the conversion process. If I do things right, my words are not my words, my thoughts are hopefully not my thoughts. It's so interesting to realize that God can do His own work and just chooses to involve us so we can learn.
For another, it has helped me realize that God really does want me to be happy. It's kind of counterintuitive, and it's something we study almost every day as missionaries so that we can teach it -- but because of broken hearts we can feel a lot more easily. I have been so happy this past month. I didn't even know that I could feel that level of joy over that amount of time! God is so merciful.
I must mention one more time -- the Christmas choir. I have seen so many miracles through it. I
sat in the audience during rehearsal and was so grateful I did, because when I was in the choir I couldn't see it as clearly -- but missionary faces are SO BRIGHT ! They shine so brightly. It's amazing to watch these tired, hardworking, but nonetheless brave and testifying missionaries put their all into a simple song.
One funny bit cause it was just so funny: We went over to President's house for a zone meeting for Christmas and it was really amazing, we sang carols and ate Christmas food and watched parts of the Christmas broadcast, and it was great. At the end my companion and I made a joke to Sister Sonksen about staying overnight....and she said yes. So we slept at the mission home and ate breakfast with the Sonksens.
Miracles happen, people.