Friday, February 27, 2015

"Who you are today is not who you will be!"

Every week at the MTC is on a higher plane of extremes than the week before. The challenges are magnified and mutated; everything is harder, which last week you wouldn't have thought possible. The high points are higher; every joke is funnier. Every experience is more spiritual. We have new experiences that smash our paradigms to pieces and rebuild them from the ground up. You can't have one extreme without the other. My sense of perspective on what is hard and what is good has shifted into something that four weeks ago would have been unrecognizable. But as our trials grow in magnitude, so do we. Our repertoire of tools to use in difficulty expands. We stretch and grow to new heights.
For example, only 2 out of 9 people in our district have not gotten sick. It's been like the plagues of Egypt. At first our eyes were glassed over because Korean is hard; now it's probably because someone got no sleep last night. But we're learning how to deal with this difficulty too.

My sense of humor has radically changed as well. With no TV or anything we have to rely on ourselves for entertainment. We've gotten creative: shooting hairbands at targets, throwing our stress balls at the chalkboard, guessing movies based on the vaguest descriptions. My companion has started keeping a book of weird things heard at the MTC. "He did a wall sit while reciting the first vision in Korean for fifteen minutes, which broke the previous record." The girls picked everyone's spirit animals and Disney characters too. I got Rapunzel. The boys picked our Disney characters too but they weren't as nice! I still got Rapunzel but someone was Andy's mom, someone was the ugly stepmother. Things that were never that funny before are hilarious now. 

One of my personal trials has been my calling. I got called as branch music director. I didn't understand what hard was until I tried organizing singers. It has taught me to appreciate accompanists more, to always have a backup plan, and that a volunteer is worth an entire choir. Fun stuff.
Korean of course is also hard. We learned this week that 'to clean' is the same as 'to destroy by fire'. 'To feel' is extremely similar to 'to be greasy'. Poetic, right? It is a beautiful language but I am drowning in it. At least I'm not learning it as a third language. There are a couple Filipinas here learning Korean through English. What a headache! Our native teacher, Lee Chameneem, is amazing. All our teachers are. We couldn't do this at all without specifically them. 
I met with another teacher, Gardner Chameneem, and she gave me some awesome advice. Progress isn't a 90 degree angle. It's slow and steady, but it wins the race. All we have to do is keep going, sometimes faster than others, but just don't stop. Funny enough what they've been drumming into us is the phrase: this isn't a marathon, it's a sprint. SLEEPING is my sport. Running is hard and I guess I can walk when I need to – just keep moving.

We're part of a new pilot program that goes worldwide to 14 MTC's in June. So excited! It's only us and two other branches. It is like the program they started in my home ward, Come Follow Me, but for missionaries. The MTC presidency really loves the Koreans. We've been doing all sorts of new things. With this new program we're learning to teach as the Savior taught. The Lord is truly hastening His work. Our Sundays are now twice as full as before.

One of my favorite experiences so far happened Tuesday night. One of the counselors from the General Bishopric, Gerald Causse, came to speak to us. His talk was amazing! But the part that was really special to me happened after. Bishop Causse introduced this old Italian man. His name is Brother Giusti, from Rome, a new member. I couldn't believe it! He had directed the production of Carmen I was in over the summer. I had known him as Maestro Giusti and hadn't even known he was a member of the Church. He's an unbelievable musician. He and Bishop Causse played a duet on piano. Afterwards I went up to talk to him -- I don't know if he remembered me but he was very kind. I told him where I was going and his eyes went wide and he said "Korea! What part?" I told him Seoul and he smiled and told me that he knew an opera teacher at the University of Seoul. He gave me her name and some other information. It was really an answer to prayers. I was worried about not having any contacts in Seoul, but now I have somewhere solid to turn to.

I raised the Italian Flag in Brother Giusti's honor!

I've reached part of my goal! I finally memorized Our Purpose in Korean. It's a little rough but I can do it! It feels amazing to have accomplished something. I am also memorizing the First Vision in Korean -- I'm about halfway there. I figured out that the words match up pretty well to "Human" by the Killers, so sometimes I sing it while drying my hair or whatever and get some weird looks. Korean doesn't even sound like a real language.
Our teacher is forgetting English; a couple days ago he tried to call motivational speakers 'motivational speecherists'. I am too, actually. I told a girl good morning when it was ten at night.

I have loved hearing from you all, I wish I could take more time individually but I have basically time to eat and sleep and Korean and Spirit. It's a wild ride but I wouldn't trade it for anything! 

This gospel is the best part of my life and I wake up every day with a greater and fiercer belief in it.
xoxo Bell Cha-may

ps about 5 minutes ago my companion and me got to be part of a devotional. It was for the senior missionary couples and I and another girl were performing this lovely song -- she was singing, I was accompanying. I also played prelude. We weren't going to stay. The number went well. I was nervous since the entire MTC presidency, as well as some other really important people, were about three feet away from me. But we did well and there was a wonderful Spirit that permeated the room.
It turned out it was a devotional by Kelly Mills (from Laketown, and he knew some Weston relatives!) and since we had loved the one from a few weeks ago that he had given we decided to stay. I don't really know why. I was eager to get to the temple because our temple time was actually being cut in half by the devotional. It had actually been a major point of stress; my favorite time of the week is our PDay temple visit, but my companion was uncomfortable about just going to the celestial room and skipping the session two weeks in a row. We were going to try to just do initiatories. But even though I was desperate to get there in time, I had a feeling we needed to stay. My sweet companion agreed.
 We sat through the devotional; I'm pretty sure we were the only ones there under 60, as the other girls had left. President Mills (over all the international MTC's) gave a wonderful devotional, but it was the same one we had heard before, almost word for word. I wasn't sure why I had wanted to stay. Then he said something at the end that reminded me of a quote someone had sent me: "Who you are today is not who you will be!" With the stress of everything going on this week and a few troublesome interactions this was so important for us to hear. SO important. President Mills reminded us how far we had come already. We get so caught up in 'well, I haven't memorized THAT word yet' or 'i still have THIS little thing to do' that we can't see the road for the cobblestone. It was important for us to hear that not only have we progressed so far already, but we have so much farther we can go; and more than that, that this change can happen over a year and a half or two years. We don't have to be the missionary who converts others to baptism right this second. We can grow over time. I felt so much peace.
...until President Burgess, the MTC President, stood up and started speaking. He paused and looked at me and said "well, we can't let Sister Bell leave without letting her sing! She has a beautiful voice that really invites the Spirit. Sister Bell, do you have anything ready?" Of course not! My hands started shaking and they still haven't!
But first he asked me and Sister Phillips to bear our testimonies. Sister Phillips was so sweet. She talked about how this mission has changed her and helped her fall in love with the gospel. She bore her testimony about coming closer to Christ. I honestly don't remember what I said, other than that I loved my family and that I was not the same person as entered the MTC. Something like "I didn't smile all the time before I came, but now I'm here and can't stop smiling!" I asked President Burgess his favorite hymn and he said the one that I had been exactly thinking of: More Holiness Give Me. I sang the first and last verses (somehow I made it through) and then we thanked them and left.
My companion and I can't stop smiling. We know that that devotional was exactly where we needed to be. It gave us the spiritual strength we needed. I would never have chosen that over the temple, but God knew exactly where we needed to be to lift our spirits. We heard exactly what we needed to hear (and were just terrified enough!) I know that God guides the steps of even his most discouraged or frustrated daughter. I am so thankful for that. I'm thankful for a companion who listens! I'm thankful that God loves us so much that he knows exactly how to help us.
Playing piano for the devotional
 Korean sisters - the celestial branch (we are on the top floor of the dorm)
Lauren and Hye Joon Kim, a Utah Lyric Opera friend, and Sister Weston
 
Flag raising with Sister Phillips!





With Sister Phillips, Provo Temple

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Thanks for all the Valentines!

If this week were written on a single page it would be entirely blackened with everything that's happened. I'll try to keep it to the highlights!
First thanks for all the Valentines! Especial thanks to my Young Women from my home ward. That was so sweet of you all to send me notes! Love you all!
We got to hoist flags for our service activity. We got to pick out the countries' flags represented at the MTC! They go on really tall poles so that everyone can see them. Of course we picked South Korea's. We also had to do Latvia's because there were visiting dignitaries that day. Super cool. We ended up racing to see which companionship could get theirs up the fastest. Sister Phillips is just a machine, so we won.
I got sick! Despite using hand sanitizer at least four times a day, and taking a probiotic every day, and being as careful as possible, I am sick. Yesterday morning I woke up with a hoarse voice (today it was no voice) and a small resentment against a certain sister in my room. She has been sick for over a week but has refused to go to the medical center. Anyways, she got me sick, and now poor Sister Phillips is getting sick. I woke up yesterday morning and knew I was sick. I was REALLY upset. Learning Korean is difficult enough without being ill. So I lay in my bed feeling sorry for myself. Then the thought came to my mind, "I would rather be here sick as all-get-out, serving the Lord, than anywhere else perfectly healthy and not serving Him." So I swung out of bed got started with the day.
I've been better about forgetting things! I haven't forgotten my nametag once. Today though I forgot my camera, so we went back for it. As we were walking down the stairs I realized I had also forgotten my connector cord. My companion remarked dryly, "It's okay, I didn't even put my key away this time." Oh she of little faith :)
I got to host this week! When you arrive at the MTC, a more seasoned missionary helps you get settled in and everything. It's weird to think that I'm the more seasoned missionary now. I got to greet cute Sister Woods. It was kind of hard watching her say goodbye to her family. I was glad they kept it brief because if they don't I have to tell them to hurry it up a little bit! I asked her how she was feeling and she got this blank look in her eyes and said, "I don't know...good, I think?" I felt that way my first day too! It's so confusing. I wish I could express how it gets even better than you could imagine every day here.
We learned three new sentence structures yesterday and I'm dying. Sometimes it feels like I am the only one. But a couple things have happened to help me feel more confident. First, a native Korean missionary, Elder Park, told me that my Korean is actually very good and my accent is reasonably decent! Very comforting. Second, in many of our lessons this week, we have been able to completely allow the Spirit to guide. We forgot to focus on the hardships of the language and instead focused on what our investigators needed. The Korean came, and both of them told us that they could see a light in us, that they could feel something so strongly. It made us both cry. It was so special. It's good to remember that we aren't here to learn Korean, we're here to learn how to help others come unto Christ. Korean is simply a tool.
Today alone has brought many miracles.
1. I accompanied my friend Sister Warren for a special musical number audition. I was struggling a bit with the piece but finally felt like I got it. I was just super nervous to play in front of the presidents' wives (note: yes we are Mormons, but that's multiple presidents, one wife each). She sounded beautiful. Then today I was sick, and it was a blessing in disguise because I was so out of it I didn't even care that they were listening. My eyes were burning a little and it was hard to read the music. I had gotten to practice it only a few times, but the Lord came through and I had it nearly memorized. It went really well. Today I was reading in the Book of Enos, and I realized the lyrics came from there - the title is 'My Soul Hungered'. Sister Warren is a convert and this song was really special to her; it talks about receiving comfort from the Lord after a great trial.
2. This morning I read a letter from my dad, in which he told me the story of a couple who had gone to the temple and received an answer to a very specific question. In fact it was so specific that my dad said "I don't know why I tell you this story". But today, Preparation Day, is our temple visit day. I love the temple more than anything but I was so out of it that my companion said "Okay, executive decision, we're skipping today, no way can you sit through a 2 and a half hour session." But I read the letter from my dad and felt really strongly that we just needed to go. So we went early, before our assigned time, and decided to forgo the long session for just sitting in the Celestial Room of the temple, its most special part. I know that my dad sent me that story for this reason: to get us to the temple.
3. We went and just sat there. I can't describe how happy the Celestial Room makes me. I can feel God's love so strongly there. I had a couple questions I had really been pondering for a while. They were answered perfectly in the Celestial Room as I sat and pondered the scriptures. They were hard questions too, and I know I didn't answer them through wish fulfillment; the answers didn't come from me. 'Less me, more thee.' The first place I turned to was Enos. Not only did I find out that the lyrics of the song came from this book, but it taught me about having faith in God. Enos 1:8 says that Enos' worries are taken care of because of his immense faith in Christ. In the same way, my worries have been swallowed up by Him. I know that the hardships of a mission are allayed by my faith in His divine existence. The next two references I found were also about faith, decidedly so. It felt so wonderful to have all my fears taken care of by His tenderness. One scripture especially on my mind has been "Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole." In the Celestial Room, the pieces of myself that had been cut away by all my concerns returned, and I felt whole. At the same time I know I have so much more growing to do. But it certainly feels nice to have a solid foundation to build on. In Him and in my faith in Him I am made whole.
4. As we were sitting in the Celestial Room, this sweet old lady got up and sat on our couch next to us. She was probably in her late eighties. She introduced herself as Rhonda and told us that she had something to tell us. A few weeks ago she had been prompted strongly that she needed to share her story; this prompting had been reinforced by her visiting teacher's own prompting that Rhonda needed to tell someone her story. Rhonda told us that a few years back she had been prompted to tell her children , 5 of whom live in Missouri, one in Texas, that their houses needed to be blessed by the priesthood. They were. A few days later the Joplin Missouri tornado came tearing through and destroyed their town, but they and their houses were protected and untouched by the devastation. She laughed then and told us that her daughter in Texas was okay too. Then she told us that we, as missionaries, are also blessed and protected. She told us that the Lord loves us fiercely and that we are His children. It was so special to hear that, especially with how much pressure we put ourselves under. We were in the exact right place at the right time. I am sure that we didn't go there, at that time, by any accident.
5. After the temple we were walking down the hill. Funnily enough this didn't come from any prompting; the lady had a dog on her lap and I haven't even SEEN a dog in weeks so of course I ran over to pet it. The lady's name was Chris and she is one of the most interesting people ever. She looks a bit like Jane Goodall and their personalities are similar. From what I gathered, she was born in Holland, and she has lived in many other countries; she told us Provo was one of her favorite places because of the spirit of the MTC. She herself served a mission in Holland. Her father was in her district but he never converted. We talked to her for probably 20 minutes; she had this pure light exuding from her. She taught us (ironic for missionaries) about Joseph Smith and how strong her faith was in him. I've never doubted Joseph Smith or the Restoration, but I definitely have had questions about it. It's a hard part to teach, that God and Jesus appeared to a fourteen year old. But she really built my faith about him, and she taught me through example that the best way to convince someone of something is to show your own love and belief for and in it. She told us to never forget that God loves us and to never forget our faith. I'm starting to see a pattern :)

Another fun thing, our Korean branch (I guess we're one of the more advanced ones now that others have gone to Korea) got to take a field trip to another MTC campus where they want to build! It was really cool to get outside the MTC bubble. We get so claustrophobic sometimes; they had a revolving door in the building and the missionaries went crazy.

In the Asia building there are around 50 Japanese missionaries, probably 25 Koreans, and only 3 Vietnamese! Poor souls. I take them candy sometimes, they're so alone over there. Keep 'em in your prayers, they're starting to go a bit stir crazy.

My time is up, so in conclusion, I love you all and I know that God loves us all with an impossible love. He guides our path and makes our feet into wings. I love this gospel and every days I am blessed! I am so immeasurably excited.
XOXO,
Sister Bell

MTC Sister Valentine Slumber party...

 The tulips arrived!
 Lauren and Sister Sewell from Samoa...

Thursday, February 12, 2015

TINKERBELL SINGS!!

I'm so OLD! Next week we won't be the newest Korean missionaries. We celebrated our two week-iversary yesterday! Everyone's moms kept sending various food. Our classroom looks like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. And to celebrate two weeks yesterday we ate almost all of it.
I'm exhausted but I've never had so much energy! We get up at 5:45 to go exercise and go to bed around 11. We sit in class 11 hours a day, but that's been better since we got new desks. With the old ones we had to hold our stuff on it so it wouldn't slide off; they were the size of a thimble and about as helpful to our class. Also, they were out of chocolate chip cookies yesterday. Truly we have endured trials here at the MTC.
I have made some awesome friends here! My roommates and companion are all incredible. Everyone brings something unique. My zone is just AMAZING. Everyone is a homecoming queen or president of some club or fluent in Japanese. It's a little hard not to feel out of place here. But everyone is so welcoming and loving that we feel like a family already.
Monday was Elder Schilling's birthday. The sisters had noticed that the last couple of days he had seemed a little down (completely understandable. Have I mentioned Korean is HARD?) so we decided to do something special. He's kind of a health nut and has everything he wants, so we were at a loss for what to do for him. Finally someone suggested giving him a banana as a joke. Everyone in our zone ended up taking 2 bananas from the lunchroom every meal and hoarded them in our room without him knowing. We ended up with about 20 bananas, and before class the sisters sneaked over to his desk and covered it in them. He didn't stop smiling the whole day -- he was so happy that someone had taken notice of him and celebrated. It was a wonderful feeling!
Sunday night my companion and I (side note: we're best friends and find something more to love about each other every day) watched Character of Christ by Elder Bednar. http://seek.deseretbook.com/character-christ/i I would absolutely recommend it to everyone I meet. It changed my life! It talked about turning away from yourself and unto Him -- everything a mission should be about. In forgetting yourself and finding Him, we find our purpose. This week it has been something I've really tried to focus on. After all, it's SERVE a mission, not travel to a different location and eat food and complain.
We've been making a lot of goals this week. Our teachers showed us a video where these elders that went to Turkey learned 100 words a day and memorized like 5 scriptures a week, and in one month they were fluent. Just so everyone knows, these elders were actually robots developed by the Church Science division. Trying to learn that much of another language would make a normal human brain explode. I've been here two weeks and I don't think I even know 200 Korean words. But my companion and I made a goal to learn 20 words a day and 1 scripture a week. And with the Lord's help we've been making good progress. So far we're doing okay -- retention is the hardest part, as well as application. Sentence structure is brutal. My biggest goal is to finish the Book of Mormon in Korean by the time I get to Korea -- seven more weeks! I can't even read the English version in 7 weeks. But even if I can reach half my goal I will have done pretty well. My reading has already tripled in improvement these last couple days.
In the MTC we teach Korean investigators. All of us felt very betrayed when it turned out our first investigator, Sister Kim, is actually one of our teachers. Now, all of our teachers double as our investigators. In some ways it's easier to teach in Korean than English. You have to keep the message simple, and that makes it a lot easier to both say and understand. Our first night in the MTC the room of newly arrived missionaries taught one investigator. We got a microphone and answered their questions about the gospel. One girl stood up and tried to teach one investigator about the Millenium and the three kingdoms. The first thing I ever learned was to keep it simple!
The devotionals are amazing. Last Sunday we had the international president of the MTC's, Kelly Mills, come talk to us. His talk was awesome. He showed before and after pictures of missionaries. The before pictures were of people, sometimes smiling, sometimes not, sometimes people you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, sometimes people you wouldn't want to meet at all. The after pictures were amazing. Everyone was smiling so huge. They wore less makeup and no dreadlocks in some cases and you could almost feel the light coming off of them. I think that my before and after pictures would already show a change; I feel so enriched by everyone and everything around me. The Spirit is so strong in this place.
I got to sing for the new missionary devotional yesterday. It was a weird kind of benchmark. I looked around at all their eager, nervous faces and thought "When I was your age..." I wish I could tell them that as wonderful as the initial excitement is, over the coming weeks it deepens and matures. It was an amazingly spiritual experience. I felt the love of God for these new missionaries and felt my own testimony pour out of my mouth.
I've only forgotten my nametag 3 times this week instead of five. Progress is progress.
Shoutout to the Markhams for helping me learn Korean! Learning the alphabet and important vocab, as well as experiencing the food and culture, was invaluable. And thanks to everyone supporting me by writing me letters and donating. Your love has gotten me through a couple challenging days. As has Amazon Prime, my Valentine this year.
The days go by like years, long and slow; but the weeks go by like moments. I'm so excited to be serving the Lord and His children! The time is almost here for me to get myself on a plane and get to Seoul, and I love the people I haven't met yet more with each passing day.
xoxo,
Sister Bell

ps There are nine new native Korean speakers here at the MTC. They are all awesome. Their English is perfect. Also, I think all the girls weigh under a hundred pounds, and their shoe sizes don't exist in America. They're so cute! Actually the elders are kind of stern, but the sisters are all like fairies. In fact the first time I went to their room I had my hair up in a bun and as soon as I came through the door, they all gasped and shouted "TINKERBELL!!!!!!" Later they found out I was singing in sacrament meeting and they all squealed "TINKERBELL SINGS!!!!!" They're all really strong members of the church too, which seems promising. 
 Sister Phillips and Sister Bell
 11 sisters off to Korea!
 Lauren got a special delivery from the Sweet Tooth Fairy Bakery (aka Julie Mattingly)
 Sister Bell, and the musical number support team
 The elders mocking the sisters...
 Korean teachers - Sister Kim, and the man one on the right was in her BYU choir. (still working on getting names with photos) 
more cleaning... and birthday bananas, below

Friday, February 6, 2015

Inside a comfort zone, there is little growth, but inside a growth zone, there is little comfort. Korean is my Growth Zone...

Hi kajoke and chingoo! (family and friends)
I don't even have words to describe this week! It's been like sticking a circus on a roller coaster. The MTC is incredible. I'm definitely not fluent in Korean yet but I can speak like a cavewoman, so that's progress. More importantly, my testimony of the Lord and His gospel has just exploded. It's so strange to compare myself with how I was one week ago to how I am now. Then I wonder what I'll be like in 18 months. Hopefully I will have progressed from cavewoman to Neanderthal by then.
Korean is a beautiful language. It's well structured, but it's so unlike English that it's basically starting from scratch. Time and time again this week we have heard the verse "Humble yourself as a child". It was as a child that I learned English, and it's as a child that I think I have to learn Korean. I have to throw all my knowledge out the window and believe everything my teachers tell me. 
By the second day, we were teaching an investigator in Korean. Her name is Kim Chameneem (Sister Kim). She is very, very patient! Korean is like reading hieroglyphics, and we read most of that first lesson. It was entirely scripted; we plugged in phrases here and there and had her read for us. The entire room was just spiritually dead. We both felt extremely frustrated with ourselves. The next day teaching her was only slightly better. Then the third day miracles happened. We decided to get rid of our set phrases and teach more by the Spirit - by feeling what she needed to hear and what God wanted her to hear from him. We were blessed with the gift of tongues that day: it was still cavewoman talk but we were able to get our points across. I sang 'I Am a Child of God' in Korean and the Spirit was almost tangible. It was the very first time we saw her show emotion, and it was a truly inspiring moment. 
My companion is a blessing and a gift. Her name is Phillips Chameneem (sister phillips) and she's 23 from Sandy Utah. I think so far her most amazing quality has been her patience. I've forgotten my nametag about five times now-I may glue it to my forehead from now on-and every time she's been just fine with it. I've also gotten involved with a number of musical commitments and she's come to every single one without complaint. My love for her grows every day. Also, we've gotten to the point where we start finishing each other's sentences. If that's not love then I don't know what is.
Every single person in our class is truly amazing. Take the smartest and most dedicated person you know, multiply them by nine, and you'll have our class. We're all surprisingly well adjusted as well -- no one has tried knotting their sheets together and climbing out the window, and no one collects their toenail clippings as far as I know. Everyone is incredibly kind and positive. 
I take it as a sign of the Lord's plans that my teacher is actually a guy I knew in my third semester of college! Driggs Gyosa (teacher). I didn't even know he spoke Korean. He's been incredibly supportive. Or I think he is. He only speaks Korean in class, so he might be criticizing me nonstop and I'd have no idea.
One phrase that has kept me going is: inside a comfort zone, there is little growth, but inside a growth zone, there is little comfort. Korean is HARD. HARD. I'm an English major; English is my comfort zone. But Korean is my growth zone. The dark is scary and pushing through the soil is hard, but my love for the language and the gospel blossoms more each day.
I've had a few truly incredible experiences so far. When I don't eat well I get really bad headaches and fatigue. Getting them in class is just unfair. It's like slogging through a rainstorm, stuck in the mud, trying desperately to keep dry and clean (see? I'm an English major). I had been doing really well eating healthy, but one day I tried these energy bars and they gave me the worst headache. I just could not do it. I was absolutely exhausted from keeping sixteen hour days and learning nonstop. I prayed for help a few times like this: please just let me get through this, please just let me get through this. It was about all I could manage. Finally, my companion and I went back to our residence to grab some food and meds. I just collapsed onto my knees and started praying. But this time I remembered something from one of our devotionals: "God is not an ATM machine". You can't put your needs and the amount in and then stick out your hand and wait for blessings to fall into it. God wants us to pray because He wants to hear from us and grow closer to Him and love us. So I started off, a little awkwardly, by telling Him how our week had gone. I thanked Him for bringing us so far. I told Him how hard we were working and how tired and frustrated we felt, and how much my head hurt. I closed the prayer and immediately my headache and fatigue were gone. It was night and day. I skipped back to class. 
There have been so many other miracles this week. Some are so personal that I don't want to share them. I'll share some though -- they were just so amazing! While walking back from a really awesome temple session, me and my companion studied passing cars to see if I could see any of my friends. I was disappointed not to see anyone, since I was in my college town. Then we got back to the MTC and lo and behold one of my friends was working at the front desk! It was like a smile from God. 
I've been working a lot on patience, with myself mostly. One of the first things my president said on meeting me was "you're a perfectionist!" Which is part of why I'm so frustrated about this language. It's a lot of mistakes. But through several experiences I've learned to be patient -- mistakes are how you grow. 
For example I decided to audition for a devotional. I love to sing, but don't always love singing in public and I especially hate auditions! There are tons of people -- often VERY important people -- that attend devotionals and judge auditions and I was a nervous wreck leading up to it. (Again, thank you my very patient companion!) Then my pianist and the others I was auditioning with couldn't do it, so I was singing a'cappella, alone, in front of the mission presidents and wives. I thought about quitting too, but I prayed and knew that the Lord would provide. And he did! I found an accompanist! only about five minutes before performing it. It went okay, and now I'm singing for a Tuesday devotional...super excited!
I was also the first new missionary to bear my testimony in church and I did it partly in Korean, which made me so happy. It was a beautiful start to the combining of my testimony with this new language. 
Obviously now that I have a companion, I am never alone, but in a different respect I am never alone. Christ is always by my side. I have felt his hands lift me from my knees into His embrace. So many times that I felt alone, I thought it was God preparing me to be strong and learn how to support myself. Then in one truly amazing devotional that the Richardsons (high up administrators) gave, I realized that I had learned to lesson wrong. He wasn't teaching me how to be alone. He was teaching me that I don't have to be. That I can rely on His arm for love and help at all times.
I love this gospel and my calling is true. I love you all. Church is true!
xoxo, Bell Chameneem

 The district name tags
other sisters in my class - Sister Coates, Jones and Cameron.