More Glorious and Bright: Success is . . .

To quote a classic movie, "If at first you don't succeed, pack your bags" .

I don't have any special reason for opening with this. It's not like I made some huge mistake. (I did make several small/medium ones that are not going in this letter because they're vaguely embarrassing.) I've just been thinking about success a lot recently. How dependent it is on you. How dependent it is on others. My old STL (Sister Training Leader) said success was something you had to define personally. For some people, success is defined by the numbers. For others, it's fluency in the language. For me and where I am in my mission right now, it's defined by agency.

See, when you define success by agency, you're able to cut out the numbers. Baptisms and copies of the Book of Mormon accepted are defined mainly by others' agency. It's my agency to talk to them. That's success, when I share the message I came to share. When you define success by agency, language fluency or lack thereof becomes more about how hard you're trying. The Lord rewards trying! (Not as much as you want sometimes, but He does.) When I study and listen and speak Korean, I'm using my agency. That's success.

I'm not saying that I exist totally independently of worries about language or people accepting this gospel -- I'm just saying that that is the standard of success I want to strive for. Simply put, our purpose is to 'talk with everyone,' and some days that's simple, and some days that's complicated. But no matter what, the happiest I feel is when I'm confidently sharing about the restored gospel of Christ.

I also wanted to share this quote because there has been a lot of packing these past few days. I joined a threesome in the beautiful city of Sangay. We had heard rumours (ever the enemy of good missionary work) that there was another sister coming late, so we called the AP several times and he was like "I can't tell you she's not coming" and such nonsense, but then he finally said 'okay she's staying' and so I let myself get attached....and now she's headed RIGHT BACK TO SOKCHO. PRESIDENT TAKES THE THINGS I LOVE AND SENDS THEM TO THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. (We love him dearly and respect his authority.)

But they're awesome! Sister Ami is the one staying with me in Sangay and she's just fantastic. I really want to just listen in on her thought processes because she has so many great ideas. I have sooooooo much to learn from her and sometimes I just sit and listen to her wisdom. Another very wise missionary once told me, "I figured it out, Sister Bell. Literally no one knows what to do, and we all make it up as we go along and hope it turns out." But Sister Ami seems to know pretty well -- and it's because she relies on the Spirit. That's what I most want to learn from her.

I love you all! Have a wonderful week...and thanks for the emails!

xoxo

Sister Bell

ps bye Donghae.... :'(