My daughter read this and said it helped her to know the feelings she had moving to Korea were very normal. She asked if I would repost the article.
Symptoms
of Culture Shock
Signs
and symptoms of culture shock are:
- a
feeling of sadness and loneliness,
- an
over-concern about your health,
- headaches,
pains, and allergies
- insomnia
or sleeping too much
- feelings
of anger, depression, vulnerability
- idealizing
your own culture
- trying
too hard to adapt by becoming obsessed with the new culture
- the
smallest problems seem overwhelming
- feeling
shy or insecure
- become
obsessed with cleanliness
- overwhelming
sense of homesickness
- feeling
lost or confused
- questioning
your decision to move to this place
Sounds
like fun, huh? Now you may have one of the above symptoms or a
combination of a few; it's very individual and unpredictable. I know
I tend to be much more emotional than I usually am, crying over
simple things that normally I wouldn't even look at twice. Seeing
people hugging or someone being kind to me would make me burst into
tears. I didn't feel sad. Just sentimental. I suppose that should be
added to my list. I also found that I clung to the familiar. E-mail
and being in touch with people back
home gave
me a great source of comfort until I realized that I needed to remove
myself from the old and embrace the new. I believe that was part of
my transition from the Re-integration
Stage to
the Autonomy
Stage.
The
Culture Shock Model
Step
1: The Honeymoon Stage
Like
any new experience, there's a feeling of euphoria when you first
arrive to a new country and you're in awe of the differences you see
and experience. You feel excited, stimulated, enriched. During this
stage, you still feel close to everything familiar back home.
Step
2: The Distress Stage
Everything
you're experiencing no longer feels new; in fact, it's starting to
feel like a thick wall that's preventing you from experiencing
things. You feel confused, alone and realize that the familiar
support systems are not easily accessible.
Step
3: Re-integration Stage
During
this stage, you start refusing to accept the differences you
encounter. You're angry, frustrated and even feel hostile to those
around you. You start to idealize life "back home" and
compare your current culture to what is familiar. You dislike the
culture, the language, the food. You reject it as inferior. You may
even develop some prejudices towards the new culture. Don't worry.
This is absolutely normal. You're adjusting. This is actually a
pretty common reaction to anything new. Think back to when
you started
a new job or
moved to a new house or a new city or when you moved in with someone.
Any adjustment can cause you to look back in awe and wonder why you
made the decision to change.
Step
4: Autonomy Stage
This
is the first stage in acceptance. I like to think of it as
the emergence stage
when you start to rise above the clouds and finally begin to feel
like yourself again. You start to accept the differences and feel
like you can begin to live with them. You feel more confident and
better able to cope with any problems that may arise. You no longer
feel isolated and instead you're able to look at the world around you
and appreciate where you are.
Step
5: Independence Stage
You
are yourself again! You embrace the new culture and see everything in
a new, yet realistic light. You feel comfortable, confident, able to
make decisions based on your own preferences. You no longer feel
alone and isolated. You appreciate both the differences and
similarities of your new
culture.
You start to feel at home.
What
Is It?
Culture
shock isn't a clinical term or medical condition. It's simply a
common way to describe the confusing and nervous feelings a person
may have after leaving a familiar culture to live in a new and
different culture. When you move to a new place, you're bound to face
a lot of changes. That can be exciting and stimulating, but it can
also be overwhelming. You may feel sad, anxious, frustrated, and want
to go home.
It's
natural to have difficulty adjusting to a new culture. People from
other cultures (whom you'll be hanging out with and going to school
with) may have grown up with values and beliefs that differ from
yours. Because of these differences, the things they talk about, the
ways they express themselves, and the importance of various ideas may
be very different from what you are used to. But the good news is
that culture shock is temporary.
What
Causes Culture Shock?
To
understand culture shock, it helps to understand what culture is. You
may know that genes determine a big part of how you look and act.
What you might not know is that your environment — your
surroundings — has a big effect on your appearance and behavior as
well.
Your
environment isn't just the air you breathe and the food you eat,
though; a big part of your environment is culture. Culture is made up
of the common things that members of a community learn from family,
friends, media, literature, and even strangers. These are the things
that influence how they
look,
act, and communicate. Often, you don't even know you're learning
these things because they become second-nature to you — for
instance, the way you shake hands with someone when meeting them,
when you eat your meals each day, the kind of things you find funny,
or how you view religion.
When
you go to a new place, such as a new country or even a new city, you
often enter a culture that is different from the one you left.
Sometimes your culture and the new culture are similar. Other times,
they can be very different, and even contradictory. What might be
perfectly normal in one culture — for instance, spending hours
eating a meal with your family — might be unusual in a culture that
values a more fast-paced lifestyle.
The
differences between cultures can make it very difficult to adjust to
the new surroundings. You may encounter unfamiliar clothes, weather,
and food as well as different people, schools, and values. You may
find yourself struggling to do things in your new surroundings that
were easy back home. Dealing with the differences can be very
unsettling; those feelings are part adjusting to a new culture.
How
Does It Feel?
One
person's adjustment to a new culture is not necessarily like
another's. In some situations, people are excited about their move.
Though they may feel a little sad about leaving important people and
places behind, they think of the move as a new adventure, or they've
heard great things about the place that will become their new home.
Some people stay this way. But difficulties adjusting often don't
show up right away. In some people, the excitement gives way to
frustration as time goes on and they still have trouble understanding
their new surroundings.
On
the other hand, there are people who never wanted to move in the
first place. Their frustration starts the day they realize that they
have to move to a new place, when they're perfectly happy where they
are. It continues as they find out just how unfamiliar their new home
is.
Though
people experience culture shock in different ways, these feelings are
common:
not
wanting to be around people who are different from you
-
loneliness
-
trouble
concentrating
feeling
left out or misunderstood
developing
negative and simplistic views of the new culture
frustration
extreme
homesickness
These
difficult feelings may tempt you to isolate yourself from your new
surroundings and dismiss the new culture. It's best not to withdraw
like this. If you stay calm, observe and learn, and keep things in
perspective, you'll probably find that your difficulties will pass.
But if you're feeling depressed and you aren't able to function
normally even after the first few months in your new environment, you
should talk to a parent or trusted adult about whether to seek help
from a physician or mental health professional.
So
how do you deal with the frustration and fears you may be having? How
can you begin to feel comfortable in your new surroundings?
Learning
the Language
Depending
on where you come from and where you are now, you may or may not have
trouble with the native language. It's a good idea to become
comfortable with the language as soon as you can. Not being able to
understand what people are saying is almost as frustrating as not
knowing how to make people understand what you are saying.
Lots
of good resources are around to help you practice. Many schools with
a good number of students new to the country have language classes.
If your school doesn't offer one, check out some of the community
centers and libraries in your area. In addition, books make good
resources too, and even some websites.
Whatever
method you choose, practice is really important. A lot of people are
worried about speaking a language they aren't completely comfortable
with and think that people who speak the language well will tease
them when they stumble over words. This might tempt you to practice
the language with someone who is at the same comfort level as you,
but it's also important to practice with people who have mastered the
language, so that you know when you make a mistake and learn from it.
It
might make you uncomfortable when it takes you twice as long to say
the same thing as a native speaker, or use the wrong word, but
remember that you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Even
if you're familiar with the new language spoken around you, chances
are you don't know a lot of the slang — casual speech that doesn't
make it into translation dictionaries (or most dictionaries, for that
matter). This is one of the many reasons why it's a good idea to do
some studying on the culture you are immersed in.
Knowing
What to Expect
A
lot of the anxiety that comes with moving
to a new place has to do with not knowing what to expect in your new
environment. Learning things about your new environment will help you
become more comfortable.
School
is a great place to do this. Watch and learn from the people around
you — see how the students interact with teachers and each other.
Find out what your classmates do for fun and what kinds of things are
important to them.
You
can also get some insight from television and movies, but be careful
— not everything you see on the screen is meant to be realistic.
But these media do help if you're still trying to learn the language
or catch up on some slang, and at the very least, give you something
to talk about when you're trying to make a new friend.
You
don't have to love everything you find out about the culture, or
start acting the way that others do, but when you gain knowledge of
what people mean when they say certain phrases or why they dress a
certain way, you do begin to feel better.
Coping
With Teasing
Your
accent might be different from everybody else's. Your clothes may
also be very different from those around you. Sometimes it can be
really difficult being different, especially when compared to the
other kids at school. But some people at your school will want to get
to know you because your differences seem really cool. Other people,
though, might try to give you a hard time.
Some
of the people who may try to tease you might do so because of
stereotypes. Stereotypes are simplified ideas, often exaggerated or
distorted in a negative way, that one group of people holds about
another. An example of a stereotype would be everyone with curly hair
is lazy. Like this example, stereotypes are often wrong, and they can
be hurtful.
If
someone harasses you, walk away — don't give the person the
satisfaction of seeing that his or her comments bother you. If you
can't shake off the comments, talk about it with good friends,
siblings, or parents. The people who love you and know that you're a
great person can often help you understand that the bully has no idea
what he or she is talking about. It also helps to find people at
school to hang out with who are cool enough not to care what the
bully says.
As
much as you would hate to be boxed into a certain type, try and get
away from doing the same to others. These characterizations are just
as unfair as the ones people might use to describe you. And beliefs
in these can get in the way of making some good friends.
Your
Family
It's
important to realize that some people have an easier time adjusting
to a new culture than others. Sometimes, if members in your family
are having an easy transition, they'll be a great source of support —
a group of people who are going through something very much like what
you're going through. In addition, your family can be a big part of
keeping ties to home.
But
sometimes, members of your family might want to keep your ties to
home too tight. Your parents might not expect the changes that may
happen as you begin to learn more about your new culture. Or, they
might need your help as they try and learn the new culture,
especially if you have a better grasp on the language. Be patient
with them; chances are they're trying to manage their culture shock —
just like you.
Help
If You Need It
You
can do a lot to help yourself adjust to a new culture. But don't
forget that you aren't alone — there are people you can go to who
can help:
Family
and friends.
Find someone who has experience with culture shock — maybe an
older relative who moved to the area before you did. Find out how
they handled the newness of their surroundings.
Counselors.
If you don't know someone who has been through what you're going
through, try talking to counselors and teachers at your new school.
They've been trained to help all students deal with a wide variety
of concerns. Although they may not have personal experience with
culture shock, they do have experience with helping people deal with
rough times.
New
friends.
Making friends who aren't new to the culture may help you understand
the culture better and have someone to talk to when you're feeling
down.
Rather
than giving up your culture so you can fit in, keep your mind open to
new ways of doing and thinking about things. Notice things that are
the same and things that are different. Appreciating that variety is
what makes people so interesting.
Back
Continue
Maintaining
Your Culture
Everyone
feels the pressure to fit in at one time or another — whether
they've lived in the area for days or years. But don't feel like you
need to change everything about yourself so you can stand out less.
All of your experiences before you came to your new home are part of
you, and what makes you special.
Here
are a few tips for making sure your new culture doesn't overpower the
old:
Educate
people about your culture.
Just because you're the one entering the new culture doesn't mean
you should be the one doing all the learning. Take the opportunity
to teach classmates and new friends about your culture; they may
know little about it. It will also help them to learn more about you
in the process. Invite them over for traditional dishes from your
culture, or show them how you celebrate your holidays.
Find
a support group.
Find kids in your class or neighborhood who recently moved, too. You
can share experiences, cheer each other up when things get rough,
and introduce each other to the new friends you've made.
Keep
in touch with home.
You probably left behind good friends and family when you moved. If
it's going to be a long time until your next visit, keep in touch.
Email, text, Skype, or call so you can stay updated on the things
happening there, and talk about your new experiences. You've not
only left behind people, but also other things — like your
favorite spot to hang out. Keep pictures around to remind you of
home.
Remember,
the key to getting over your culture shock is understanding the new
culture and finding a way to live comfortably within it while keeping
true to the parts of your culture that you value.
It's
important to be yourself. Try not to force yourself to change too
fast or to change too many things all at once. You will have your own
pace of adjusting. Everyone goes through changes in their life, and
it may seem that you are going through more changes than the average
person — but as long as you hold on to what's important to you and
find a good combination between old and new, you'll be fine.
